How Do I Forgive My Cheating Husband?

Women have struggled with this question since the beginning of time, but it is only recently that they have had the option of divorcing a cheating husband and starting a new life. It can be difficult to look on the bright side in the wake of an affair, but you need to remember that many marriages have survived and even grown stronger after a husband's infidelity has been revealed.

The number of marriages that involve adultery is quite shocking. One source claims that more than 40 percent of marriages involve emotional or physical infidelity on the part of one or both partners . What is really startling is that today, for the first time, husbands and wives are both committing adultery on an equal level. Among men, 57 percent admit to infidelity in a relationship, as compared to 54 percent of women.

These numbers may seem depressing, but you need to know that more than 30 percent of marriages are able to survive the revelation of adultery. Think about it: half of all marriages end in divorce, so this is not so bad. But how can you forgive your husband and move forward after he has broken your heart and your vows?

Give yourself time to deal with the shock

Adultery is not like confessing that he drinks milk straight from the carton, or that he forgot to take out the trash. It is a huge shock to your psyche. You need to take enough time to come to terms with what has happened, your emotional reaction to his infidelity, and what direction you want to take in the future.

Do not let him, or anyone else, try to coerce you into doing anything that you are not yet ready for. This could push you over the edge and make you pull away from everyone else. Retreating into solitude is not good for your emotional health, and it won't do anything to save your marriage.

It's okay to be selfish for a time

Do not worry about anyone else for a bit. Let your husband try to win back your trust and your forgiveness, though if you are planning on leaving him, it is best to tell him right away. Letting him squirm and grovel for a bit can be good for both of you. This won't eliminate your heartbreak and anger, but you can feel a bit better about things for a while. After all, after an affair, you may feel as if the world owes you something.

Forgiveness starts with you

Our culture teaches women that it is their fault when men cheat. Even in our supposedly progressive world, there are countless voices telling you that you must have done something to drive him away and make him cheat on you. You need to stop blaming yourself and feeling guilty for what he decided to do on his own. You are not responsible for his choices any more than he is for yours. He was the one who decided to cheat. If you can forgive yourself first, forgiving him will become a lot easier.

Finding a way to forgive him after adultery can be extremely painful and traumatic. By making sure that you follow this advice, you may be able to find your way to forgiveness more quickly than you thought you could.

Learn more at: http://www.infidelityhealing.com/